Possibly

This sums up my January 2013. Was called at a very short notice for a chit-chat interview for a department that is relating to my masters and to what I do, 

I am exhausted (but deep down excited) after rounds of writing test; 2 essays in 30 minutes and the week after was 3 essays in an hour. I'd like to elaborate more, but I'll do that when the overwhelming feelings are gone .......

or perhaps when they have finally given me 'the' call.

Life lately... according to my Instigram

Happy Friday everyone! Have a good one!

In a Rut? Nahh

You know when we complain about our job; how tiring and stagnant it is, this la, that la, but the truth is.. deep down inside, we love what we do. Well, in my case that is.

I'm in the academic line and I have to admit, as someone who is (still) young and energetic, maybe I need something that is on-the-go and a bit more challenging? Not that I'm saying being a lecturer is easy (trust me it's not!), but the best word to describe my feeling is...


a) complacent/ comfort zone
b) 'tepu'
c) bored? 


I'm in a rut perhaps?


But I still love my profession. I'm assuming that this could be just a phase. 


So, in order for me to overcome my above 'feelings',  I turn to my other means of 'profession'. Not really my main income and the utmost priority, but just merely to boost up my income. But I discover other things as well. Not just an extra income but...


a) Fun!
b) Friendship
c) Positivity

Like this. Fun times with these group of positive friends.


We went crazy in this shop. Wait till you buy a bracelet and see the charms! Runnnnn!


Looking forward for another meet-up girls.

Of Students and Banana Leaf Rice

It was the last day of exam, and we, the lecturers, decided to bring our international students for some culinary feast at... a banana leaf restaurant! It's not just about the food, but eating out of banana leaf is also part of a culture. Totally fun and hilarious too.

The best part of my job is the students. And the activities that we do.

Do you think I'm ready to leave this for something else?

Hmmmm....

Something New

I've always wanted to try something new. To try things that I never thought that I could do. With Allah's willing and my determination, I could make this work and be successful as these two ladies in the picture below. Amin.

These two pretty ladies are my new-old friends. It's great to meet new people, even though these girls are not considered as new, but in a way it is new. New level of friendship. Insya Allah.

Hopping to be Unrolled

My everyday work.

Tari Tualang Tiga

It's a shame when we are Malay (or any other races), but we don't know our own traditional dance. 

I was a dancer danced before in school, from Tarian Ulik Mayang (I was the puteri ke-empat ok, LOL), some Joget and Zapin for a prize giving ceremony and some charity dinner , and I did some contemporary dance in uni before when Puteri Gunung Ledang the Musical was a big hit. 

I missed it so much. After watching my students rehearsed for Malam Kebudayaan Melayu 2011 just now, old sparks with Malay cultural dances lit again. Especially after watching this: 

How rich is that?! Malay Evolution! 

So friends, any ideas where I can get classes that teach the dance using this particular song?

Teacher Diaries 1: It Ain't Easy

As most of my friends (and maybe you) would already know, the one thing that I do for living is I teach. Hence, the title lecturer was given to me when I stepped my foot at an instituition that I am currently serving.

Being a lecturer is a title if you teach at a University or college, but at the end of the day you are still a teacher. Some people might think being a teacher is not a glamorous job. Trust me, I have 'friends' who thinks that way. But we, teachers fret not, because we know we have nothing to lose. In every sense.

Lecturing Teaching is not easy. The content of the subjects MIGHT be easy; for example, teaching grammar - past tense, nouns/verbs and all the makneneks, but how do take the subjects and incorporate it effectively to your students? Just lecture? Showing the powerpoint slides?

" Ok class, today's lesson is on grammar. So, our chapter for today is past tense. Ok, what is past tense? Past tense is a grammatical tense that places an action or situation in the past of the current moment or prior to.... Simple past is formed for regular verbs by adding -d or -ed to the root of a word. For example class, 'He walked to the shop', or 'They danced all night at the club'....." and bla bla bla.

Sigh. The most boring lesson ever. I've to admit it, it's pretty dry isn't it? Probably the lecturer copies it from Wikipedia and paste it to the powerpoint slides. Any below-average students also can do that right?

Lecturing on GRAMMAR: Simple Past Tense. 

BUT who in the world LECTURES on grammar? Grammar is like mathematics. Who the hell lectures on maths? You teach maths, drill the students on the formulas and ask them to practise practise and practise. Same as grammar.

So, the point here it's not about grammar or mathematics. It's about the the patience and me being a lecturer as a title, but at the end of the day, I'm a teacher. I teach and I guide and I'll make sure students PASS (not by giving them FREE marks, but making sure that they understand the subject), and NOT by making sure that they just PASS but ensuring they can fully utilize the knowledge in their daily life as well as future undertakings.

Just like parents eh? Except that I don't give money.

Membebel like parents? Totally.

Come and be in my shoes, and you'll know how it feel.

You got NO patience and tolerance?
Emotional outbursts out of the blue? 

Like seriously, don't bother trying.

The Road Not Taken?

Once I start working next year, all of the money that I am going to earn will be my savings for my wedding (ehem) and future. This is really important for me until I have to jot it in my blog. (mode tengah banyak fikir. Another word: ANXIOUS)

I am always anxious of my future. I do not know what's coming my way and how am I going to live my life as well as with whom I will spend the rest of my life with. Right now, I am in a healthy relationship with a great guy (whom I also regard him as my best friend) for 6 years now and I really hope that things will go according to plan. Amin.


Career? I have a Masters degree, but that doesn't mean jobs will come flopping my way. No. Some companies/organizations avoid hiring a person with a Masters Degree and why is that? It is because they know they have to pay a bit more according to the qualification. So, at the end of the day, the one with a Masters Degree will have to settle with a standard basic Bachelor Degree salary. Don't get me wrong, I am not choosy or anything. A standard Bachelor Degree salary sounds appropriate to me, it's just I am only scared they won't hire me at all.







Let me 'demo' an example(s):


(During a Malaysian career fair last April in London)


After introducing myself..


University X: (looking at my CV) Oh, impressive. So, what exactly is a Critical Discourse Culture and Communication?
Me: (Semangat mode) It's actually a type of discourse analytical research that studies language as a form of social practice and focuses on the political ... bla bla bla..
University X: Ohh...
Me: Basically, it is a branch of applied linguistic, I am also specializing in syntax and functional grammar, sociolinguistic, multimodal analysis as well as business English. I am actually interested in an academic post here in your university. (Still in semangat mode)
University X: Interesting. So, you are looking at being a lecturer?
Me: Yes.
University X: Ok, the thing is right now, we need new fresh lecturers like you, we are interested in you if only.. you already have a PHD..or if you do PHD in our university. We have this program called bla bla bla (semangat-ly promoting the program)
Me: (Didn't hear anything he/she said as I am already lost in thoughts and frustration)
University X: So, if you are interested in holding an academic post in our university, come back again with a PHD, we would definitely take you or you can always do your PHD in our university.
Me: Oh ok. Never mind, I am still interested but can I just leave my CV to you in case of anything?


Ini career fair ke or education fair? I remembered when I applied at the same university previous years (when I only have a Bachelor Degree), they told me to come back when I got my Masters, and here I am with one, they asked me to come back again with a PHD. They want the 'ready-made' student with a PHD. I did asked about sponsorship for my PHD and they said no.


There were other university booths and I got the same ol' answer.


So, at that moment I'm not giving up. Furthermore, I do not want to waste my CV (I printed 10 CVs for this career fair) and my train ticket as well as my accomodation in London (stayed at Malaysian Hall). I decided to try other companies besides universities. And I did managed to get in for interviews but some companies (those that I'm interested in) focus in taking only the Bachelor Degree qualifications.


I'm either under-qualified or over-qualified (nothing to be proud of).


So what now? I was tired and that moment all I wanted to do was to go home and sleep it off. And pray to God that things will be ok for me in my career paths.


Moral of the story: Beggars can't be choosers.
Not that I'm being choosy or anything, (at least we need to put some standards right in choosing what's best for us. Tak boleh la main sarbat aje). But in certain circumstances like this, we can't be that choosy. Really..


I'm 25 this year. A lot of people said to me, 25 is still a young age. I don't feel that way. I felt old and sometimes I felt a bit left out. My peers are working their asses off, saving moolahs and collecting assets, getting married and already married. But to make myself feel better, I should be (and I am) grateful to God and my parents because I've already accomplished one goal, my MA. Alhamdulillah.

A person can't have everything right?


So, to friends who's already married, planning to get married, bought a house and have savings, I salute you. Tell me, how do you do it?